Wrong feels right
by bitchimawesome
Summary: "Falling in love with one's parabatai is not just wrong," Though Jem "But Will... I'm not sure if I can ignore him..." Pairing: Jem/Will M/M


******A sexy infernal devices JemxWill story, hope you like it, if you do please review and/or follow :3**

**Warning: M/M, if you dont like then dont read**

**I own nothing, these characters belong to Cassie Clare, im just having fun with them ;)**

* * *

**CHAPTER 1**

Jem was alone in the institute with Will and Jessamine, there was a Clave meeting and Charlotte and Henry had to be there. It was late already but Jem didn't feel tired at all, instead he was playing his violin, the only thing that made him forget the whole world, he knew that it sometimes bothered the others that wanted to go to sleep, but he didn't let himself care, this was the only thing where he let himself be selfish. There was a sound behind him, and he turned to find Will on his bed

"Hey, I didn't hear you coming in, can't sleep?"

"Nope, Charlotte isn't here to bring me my glass of hot milk and sing me a lullaby" Will was one of the little amounts of people that made Jem feel amused. "I heard your violin and came here"

"I didn't wake you up, right?"

"No, it's alright, can you keep playing? I liked the song" Jem did as told and went back to the piece he was playing. When he finished the song, he sat in his bed next to Will. When Jem looked at Will he could see that something was bothering him

"What is it?" Will broke from thoughts as he heard his parabatai's voice

"What do you mean?"

"There's something you're not telling me" Jem could feel Will stiffen "It's alright William, you can tell me" Jem could swear Will was flushing; it was very rare to see Will flush

"James, there's something I've wanted to tell you since long, long ago" What could it be? Jem could sense his parabatai wasn't comfortable with telling him this; maybe he was pushing him

"It's ok if you don't want to tell me, though"

"No, I think I've held it to myself enough time"

"Then I'm all ears" Jem tried to make his voice sound as soothing as possible. There was silence for a moment and Jem could see Will was having an argument with himself, finally he breathed deeply and said

"James Carstairs, I think I may be in love with you" Will flushed red-hot and looked away. Jem had waited for everything, but this, had William Herondale just confessed he had feelings for him? This was so eerie, first because he hadn't waited for this, second because it was wrong. Falling in love with one's parabatai was a huge crime, and the Clave punished it vigorously. Awkward silence grew between the two until Will broke the silence

"Well, please Jem say something! Say you hate me, say you don't want to see me again but please say something!" Jem was still startled, and he could only manage to babble something that not even he could understand

"It's ok if you want me to go away, I'll go to my room and try not to talk about this never again" He stood and left just as he had came in. Jem felt weird, this had never happened to him before, nobody had confessed their love for him before, what was he supposed to do? Will would try to avoid him from now on if he didn't do something. But what could he do? Tell him he was in love with him as well? Jem would do anything for Will, but obviously they didn't love each other the same way… but Jem had decided that he would at least talk with Will about this, he loved him like he was a brother, and he couldn't stand the fact that he was hurt, _because of him_.

Before he could think about what he would say to Will, he found himself knocking his door and coming in. There was Will, face down on bed

"Jessamine, if you want something, I'm just not in the mood-" When he looked up and saw it was Jem his eyes opened like he was seeing a ghost "Jem…"

"Will, I think we need to talk about this" Will sat and stared at Jem "Since when have you… eh, felt this way?" This was the first time Jem felt awkward around Will

"It's a long time now, I think since before we became parabatai" So long! How could Jem be so blind? Now he understood all those jokes of Gabriel Lightwood about he and Will, the ones Jem though he made because he was jealous that he hadn't the luck to have a parabatai. Again, How on earth could he be so blind? He felt stupid for not being able to discover it himself; still, what would he say to Will? He didn't know what to answer when people confessed these things, especially if we're talking about Will

"Jem, you can leave if you want, I'm alright"

"I'm just a little bit startled at the situation, nobody has ever confessed their love to me, and I just didn't wait it from you"

"It's ok if you want to believe I'm some kind of weird bug, that falls in love with men, but Jem, I cant help it!"

"Will don't say that! I could never believe something like that of you! One of the things in the oath of becoming parabatai was to never judge each other, and I won't start now!" Will awkwardly hugged Jem

"I'm so sorry for feeling this things James…" Jem didn't know what to do; he knew he should do something

"You don't have to be sorry for what you feel William"

"But it's wrong!" Jem did the only thing he knew would make Will feel better. He kissed Will. Jem felt as if Will melted in his arms, he surely didn't love Will the same way Will loved him, but still he'd do anything for Will to feel better, this was that _anything_. After a minute or so Will broke the kiss

"Jem, I'm sorry and you don't have to do these things, I already told you I'd be alright!" Jem knew Will was just faking the strong, as he always did, he never let anyone see him broken, not even Jem…

"No William I know you won't, do you think I'd leave you like this? If you're thinking of yes, then in all this years you haven't get to know me at al-" Then there was Will kissing Jem, or Jem kissing Will, Jem didn't find this as weird as he though he would after all, actually this felt different-good to everything

"Why are you doing this Jem?

"Doing what?"

"Giving me hope, I mean, about having a chance to be able to have you"

"Because everyone deserves a chance with the person they love"

"But this, us, is wrong I know it, you know it, everyone knows it"

"For me it's not wrong at all, I mean, a group of people that know nothing about us can't tell us who's the right one for any of us, and letting that happen… well, I wouldn't feel fine with myself if that happened"

"I know you're just doing this because you feel bad for poor weird sick-minded Will that likes guys!"

"No I'm not!"

"James please, you can't lie, you've never been able to"

"I know I can't lie, and that doesn't matter because I'm not lying right now"

"I know this won't end good for me, it never ends good for the weird one"

"Could you stop talking about yourself like that?"

"Why?"

"Because it hurts me that you have such an image of yourself"

"Guess I have the right to think about myself like this, or anyways if the Clave discovered me that's the way they'd call me"

"The Clave doesn't know you the way we do here in the institute, I mean Henry, Charlotte and Jessamine… well let's leave Jessamine out for now, won't criticize you because we all love you here, whether you choose to believe me or not, that's up to you"

"Still, in the miraculous situation where you return my feeling, what then? We'd have to hide ourselves, developing these feelings for your parabatai is wrong, wrong in every possible way, and we could be punished by the Clave"

"Will, first the Clave can go screw their selves, I hate how they are always telling us what is right and what is wrong"

"I've never heard you say that before"

"Because I hadn't until now"

"I like rebel-Jem"

"Better than good Jem?"

"Never better than good Jem" Will kissed Jem with an undying passion that grew from the inside

"So, is this a chance?"

"Yes"

"I know you don't love me the way I do, but thanks for this"

"Everyone deserves a chance"

"Even me?"

"More than anyone else, but let's keep things easy for now"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean we can kiss and hold hands but no sex"

"Ok…"

"I don't feel ready for that" Will hugged Jem like he wouldn't ever let go

"It's alright" It was too late already and training was early tomorrow, so they just cuddled and went to sleep. The next day the usual riot of the institute woke them up

"Good morning" Said Will, kissing Jem lightly

"How did you sleep?"

"Better than ever, you?"

"The same" They cuddled some little longer, and Jem went to his room to change his clothes. When he was getting out of Will's room, he bumped Jessamine

"OW!"

"Sorry Jessie"

"Look where you're going James! Oh and what were you doing at Will's room?"

"Nothing, just some morning chat"

"Oh cool" She turned and went to the dining room. Jem went to his room, changed clothes and headed to the dining room as well. Charlotte, Henry and Jessamine were already there having breakfast

"Good morning everyone" They all good morning'd back as he took a sit. As usual, Will came late

"Good morning" And took a sit next to Jem. Under the table Will took Jem's hand and lovingly caressed it, and Jem wanted to rest his head on Will's shoulder but they couldn't make it public yet, not yet, it wasn't the right moment. After breakfast there was training, which went by as usual, some punches here, there and thing. But it got fun when, while wrestling, Will was on top of Jem, Jem was trying to take Will down and Will started nibbling on Jem's earlobe. No one had ever done this to Jem before, and he hadn't known his earlobe was so sensitive, and then they kissed passionately and embraced

"Will I stink, I need a shower"

"Let's take it together" Jem sighed

"Will…" Will kissed Jem and nipped on his lower lip "Will please…" Will stood up

"Fine but I get to use the shower first" God Will was so childish. There was only one shower in the training room, and they often fought about it, but there was no point on fighting today. While waiting for Will to come out the shower, Jem trained hitting a dummy

"JAMES!" Surely Will had forgotten to take out a towel again

"COMING!" He took a towel and walked to the bathroom. He didn't knock, he never did, Will was always inside the shower. When he opened the door he found a nude Will with the shower curtain open. Quickly Jem turned away, felt a little ashamed, but why? It wasn't a new thing to see Will nude, but it was quite awkward at the time, he was still turned to not see anything. He started walking out the bathroom

"Wait, I'm going out in a second, take a shower now" Jem waited until Will was completely dressed and shooed him. When he took off his clothes he felt like he should have told Will to have a shower with him, he was… aroused at the situation, but the idea of sex scared him, he still didn't feel ready. He showered and found that he hadn't taken a towel for himself, there was only the one Will had used. No help on it, he had to dry himself with that towel, when he smelled it he smelled Will, a mixture of soap and cologne, he found himself enjoying that smell. He put his clothes on and went to his room, he played the violin for a while and then felt like going out for a walk, he took his coat and went out, unglamoured because there was no need. When he walked through London unglamoured, everybody stared at him because of his silvery hair and eyes, he sometimes felt ugly because of course this thing with his hair and eyes wasn't normal. He got back to the institute at around 10 p.m. and as he had expected, everyone was already asleep. He went to his room and found Will asleep on his bed. Jem sighed; he surely had waited him to come back, God he was cute. He kneeled to kiss his cheek and then changed his clothes, he laid next to him and he cuddled him to sleep…

"Wake up beautiful" Jem was woken by a soft soothing voice. He opened his eyes and found Will's beautiful blue ones

"Hey"

"How did you sleep?"

"Very well, and you?"

"Very well too, once you came home"

"You mean you were awake?"

"When you kneeled to kiss me, you woke me up"

"Sorry"

"Don't worry, I enjoyed cuddling with you, oh and sorry about yesterday" Jem blushed at the images from yesterday

"It's ok" Will kissed Jem lightly

"I just want you to know I don't want to push you to anything"

"Thanks"

"Why did you go out yesterday so mysteriously?"

"What do you mean by _mysteriously_?"

"You didn't tell anyone, I mean, you usually do"

"I wanted a walk all alone to think about things"

"Oh"

"When I go out unglamoured I feel bat most times, because people just stare at me like if I was some kind of weird thing, so I prefer going out alone so no one feels bad about me"

"Why do they stare at you?"

"Because I'm ugly, and it's not normal to have silver hair and eyes"

"How come you say that? James Carstairs, you're the most beautiful person on earth" Jem smiled and hugged Will "And I love your hair and your eyes" Jem flushed

"When are we… telling everyone?"

"I don't know, I'll do it when you want to" So it was Jem's choice "You can make it today or tomorrow or whenever you want"

"You mean you don't care about everyone knowing?"

"I only care about being with you, everything else just doesn't matter" Jem wished he had Will's confidence for just a little second, he could do good with it. Will cupped Jem's face and said

"I know this isn't easy for you, but I just want you to know that I'll wait all the time in the world for you, you're worth it" Jem kissed Will sweetly and rested his head on his chest

"I love you" Jem whispered softly

"What did you say? James, say it again, please!" Will had suddenly got excited

"I said I love you" Will kissed Jem with a hungry passion no other kiss between them had had

"I love you too Jem, you can't imagine how much, oh God I can't believe you said that"

"I had never said it before?" Jem was almost sure he had, just he didn't remember, or maybe he hadn't?

"Never" Said Will while messing with Jem's hair

"Do you know what? We'll tell everyone today, during breakfast"

"Are you sure?" Said Will with some disbelief

"Yes" Will got on top of Jem and kissed him hungrily, Jem was sure what Will was hungry of, but he couldn't give it to him… yet. Jem melted at every little touch of Will and started to feel aroused at Will's firm touch. He felt his bulge grow and also a rush of awkwardness, he tried to move away from Will before he realized

"What is it Jem?" Jem couldn't just say 'Get off me, or I'll want you to satisfy my little need' He still tried to push Will off, praying for him not to realize

"Oh, I know, I think we have a little issue down here" Said Will flirty, sexy and irresistibly sensual, while sensually touching Jem's chest. Will was, on easy terms, totally irresistible; Jem was unable to hold himself back, and right now he had his mind filled with Will and him… No. When he moved back to reality, he felt like only dying would stop him from feeling this ashamed

"I'm so sorry, I'm so, so sorry please forgive me" He felt his whole face burning; he pushed Will away and turned to stop looking at him. Will cuddled with Jem and started whispering sweet things to his ears, telling him everything was all right

"Want to talk about it?" Will was the sweetest person Jem had ever met; he kissed Jem's cheek to make him feel better

"Will, I want it but I'm also scared, you have to understand this all is new to me" After a moment of silence Will sighed

"I'm also scared, I might hurt you, and I can't hurt you"

"Training?"

"I mean, while doing these things"

"Oh" Jem though it through "We could do it"

"Uh?"

"Sex, we could… do it"

"Jem, I don't want sex" This hit Jem like a rock, but he had just said that… "I want to make love to you, and right now isn't the time, about a second before I was joking, but I want it to be perfect, for both of us" Will held Jem tighter "What about tonight?" This caught Jem off guard

"Yes" Jem melted to Will's proposition

"Alright then, tonight in my room" Will winked at Jem

"Are you still up to telling everybody?"

"Yes" Ok then, Will and Jem would tell their relationship on the institute, right now. A knock on the door, snapped Jem out of though

"Jem, breakfast is ready, do you know where Will is?" It was Jessamine

"Ok, I'm coming, I'll tell Will" He heard Jessie's footsteps walk away. Will took Jem's hand and caressed it

"Are you ready for this?" Will kissed Jem softly and sweetly

"Yes"

* * *

**Show some love and review 3**


End file.
